Creepy things that I Love
Before we start, I feel this blog would be experienced at its absolute best whilst the reader listens to the soundtrack from the movie Gone Girl (with earphones in) and let it play through. Please let me know if you did this and how it made the experience so much better!
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If I had a pound for every time someone said I was weird, I'd be living in my own pink and gold Barbie inspired mansion, dressed in a black Victorian mourning dress surrounded by my children, black cats and strawberry Lambrini. (God I really sold that to myself just now. Maybe that should be my new life goal instead of getting my novel published - which is my actual life goal - that will probably never come true due to my utterly unpredictable nihilistic mood swings)
Anyway...
For all of my life I have been obsessed/fascinated with the macabre. This is going to be the main theme of this blog post because it's a huge part of my life and who I am. I was watching movies like Dracula and Interview with the Vampire from a very young age, and would flick through my mum's creepy Stephen King collection, sometimes daring myself to read the short stories that I knew would probably give me nightmares.
Ever since I can remember I've always been a night owl and night lover. During the day, I find myself to be more irritable and completely uninspired. But as soon as the moon comes out, I come alive. I have more ideas for my writing, I have insatiable urges to watch horror movies, and then to watch a list on You Tube of creepy vintage adverts just before going to sleep. (Sorry but had to put the link here, it's too deliciously disturbing to give it a miss)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLCn1QWNBbM
So without further ado, Here's a list of some creepy things I love that get my heart racing, inspire my creativity, haunt my dreams, and to some, make me a total and utter weirdo...
Abandoned buildings and Urban exploration
I can't quite remember when my fascination with abandoned buildings began. But I was about 14 years old when a group of friends and I stumbled upon an abandoned cattle market in a town nearby to where I lived. It still had rusty chains hanging from the ceilings, all of it was covered in graffiti and there were empty sleeping bags, syringes and spoons scattered everywhere. It sat derelict in the middle of an empty lot, and I couldn't get enough of it. I studied every single inch of it, marvelling at how creepy it was and wishing I had a camera. I wondered about when it was built, why it wasn't used any more, and what it would have looked like back in the day.
Fast forward a couple of years, and I actually went back to this place. I used it as my main subject for my photography portfolio for my BTEC Media course in high school. Here are some photos I took of this place. Unfortunately it was demolished years ago, and I've never been able to find out anything about its history.
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| My photo of the abandoned cattle market |
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| Creepy |
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| My photo |
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| My photo |
That place was the beginning of my love for abandoned buildings and urban exploration. It wasn't until years and years later I got the chance to explore another abandoned building; the old windmill at Appleton Roebuck in York. Unfortunately I've lost my own photographs of this place, which is a shame because I had some of it when the sky was starting to turn dark, and the windmill looked foreboding as hell. I've pulled these images off google, so of course they're heavily photo-shopped and make it look like an absolute delight.
But the first time I visited this place was at night time, with a friend and torch. It's safe to say we didn't stay long. A nearby owl freaked us both the fuck out before we ran off back to the car. I believe it has now been sold and is going to be converted into an actual living space, which is really cool. I'm glad it's still standing after all this time.
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| My photo |
(You can see lots more of my photos of Horncliffe on my Instagram @thevioletking_ )
There are many, many more abandoned buildings I wish to explore, but considering I don't have a car yet, I'm just gonna have to wait. I can't really explain what my morbid obsession with these places is. I think the decay of hundred year old buildings is just so interesting and beautiful to me. I get lost in my imagination thinking about how it would have looked way back when. I think of all the people who have roamed the place before me. I wonder if whilst visiting these places I would be lucky enough to see a ghost (ghoul til the end). I have heard of some places that hold paranormal sleepovers, and as much as I'd love to do one of these, I do feel like when it's a forced event like that, the chances of actually seeing a ghost are really low.
Which brings me on to my next creepy thing that I love....
The paranormal and ghoulish
When I was younger, me and my parents temporarily moved into a family friend's pub for a few weeks whilst they went on holiday. It was common knowledge that this pub was haunted by a ghost named Doreen who hung herself in the property over a hundred years ago. I remember everyone around me at the time being deadly serious about this ghost. It was never a joke, or a tall tale to terrify me or the other children of some of the punters. It was so serious in fact, that my mother became the brunt of Doreen's negative energy, and had things thrown at her in the cellar every time my mum went down there to change a barrel. (My mum is literally scared of nothing by the way, and because it was her job she didn't let Doreen stop her from going down there). Anyway, one afternoon whilst I was watching cartoons in the living room, the channels started to flick back and forth. It went on for a good five minutes before I started to become irritated constantly switching it back. There was no one else upstairs or in the room with me as my mum was downstairs working the bar. And so, at 6 years old (and convinced it was the poltergeist) and with more courage than I have now, I stood up and said out loud, "Doreen, stop it." And then, I remember feeling ice cold, as if I'd had a bucket of it thrown over me. Time seemed to stop for a second and I was frozen to the spot. And then, the t.v went back to normal and the channel flicking stopped. It was one of the strangest moments of my life, and I truly believe that it was the ghost of Doreen messing with me. (For any of you reading who don't believe in ghosts or the paranormal, please try and open your mind a bit and don't take the piss eh!)
I have several loved ones who have their own ghost stories that turned my blood cold as they told them to me. (That and a tiny ounce of envy that I still haven't experienced anything quite traumatising yet, I know... I'm a weirdo for even wanting it to happen to me) But I believe them all, and the idea of seeing someone's spirit that hasn't crossed over is as fascinating to me as the old haunted derelict buildings that I yearn for.
The pub is still standing now. I don't know the current owners, and I don't know if there is still any kind of ghostly activity in that place, but it was the first time I'd experienced anything weird and ghostly like that before. To this day, I still haven't technically seen a ghost but there have been many occasions where I have felt one. Especially a negative spirit, and very recently a demonic entity in a graveyard....
Graveyards
To me, graveyards have always felt like the safest places to be. No body there can hurt you because...well...they're dead. I find them peaceful and beautiful. I love looking at old Victorian grave stones and reading their names, knowing that they were so loved by so many people. It's no surprise I also have a love for cemeteries considering I grew up with one right by my dad's house that I would wander through on weekends, day and night.
On one occasion, I remember playing in there with some friends at the time (bear in mind I must have been about 8 years old) and we'd come across a gravestone where the slab on top had been split in half, leaving a gap to one side where you could see down to the coffin. (Obviously destroyed by some horrible vandals, who'd also spray painted on the back of it) And so we dared each other to stick twigs and drop stones down the gap where we could see the coffin, and we did, making each other jump as soon as the other had dropped them down there. Once we'd got bored of this, we turned our backs and heard a noise that sounded like the slab of stone being moved. All of us screamed and ran out of the graveyard as fast as we could. With our hearts pounding, some of us half laughing and crying from the scare, all of us said we'd heard it. And all of us agreed that it sounded like it was moving. One of the kids I remember had said they saw it actually move in the corner of their eye. Whether or not they did, I'm not sure. But it was a long time before I went back in there.
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| Rhyddings methodist church graveyard (where it happened) |
Exploring graveyards at night time is one of my favourite things to do (but not something I get to do often I must stress) As I've said before, I feel more excitable and weird at night time, and everything else just seems far more interesting and spooky in the dark. In the summer of this year, I was exploring a very old and creepy graveyard with a friend in a town nearby where I live. There was nothing particularly weird or spooky about that evening, it was still very warm despite it being 11pm, and we wandered into the graveyard just having a normal conversation. We started to walk down a path that lead deep down into the cemetery, the path lined with gravestones and trees overhead blocking out the moonlight. I started to talk about a weird thing that happened to me in a graveyard back in York, and as I did, we both stopped dead in our tracks, both of us staring into the darkness at the end of the path. We stopped talking, and without saying a word we turned round on our heels and walked straight back out of the grave yard. Once we were out, we both said how we felt something really malevolent and awful watching us from the darkness. I had never felt anything like it before, it completely unnerved me and I couldn't stop thinking about it for days after. Not only that, but it terrified my friend as well who was a bit of a sceptic.
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In conclusion, I love anything that gets my adrenaline going, especially when it's something unnervingly creepy. I read a very interesting article recently about people who suffer with anxiety finding that horror movies actually make them feel more calm. Here's an excerpt from the article;
- For Abby and apparently a lot of other people, watching horror movies is their best form of coping with anxiety. That’s right — those movies that make some people tense up with fear and racked with emotional distress are exactly the kind of medicine for some people living with anxiety. Abby breaks it down, and it actually makes sense. Here’s what she said:
The link to the full article is here:When I first noticed the effectiveness of this unconventional way of coping with anxiety, I pretty much freaked out: What was I, some kind of psychopath who derives comfort from the suffering of others? Is it just me? I asked on /r/anxiety, the Reddit forum for the topic. Is there something wrong with me?While horror films aren't a true alternative to seeking medical help if you need it, I was nevertheless inundated with responses from people saying they'd noticed the same thing. "I too have noticed horror movies make me feel better," said one user. "It creates a different anxiety, an anxiety that isn't about me, ya know?"
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/horror-movies-help-people-with-anxiety
As a sufferer from anxiety myself, maybe that's why I love everything spooky ooky. Maybe that's why I've been watching the same horror movies for most of my life. I'm just a little ghoul at heart. Everything spooky feeds my imagination. The macabre and ghoulish has inspired me to write stories from a very young age. I feel mostly myself when watching a horror movie, or wandering around a graveyard in the dark, or feeling as if something or someone is watching me in a quiet haunted house.
At the end of the day, I think....I'm just a lil weirdo.
Until next time
Violet x
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