Kesha

You've probably noticed recently that Kesha has made a comeback, releasing 4 new music videos/singles from her new album titled, 'Rainbow'. It has already hit number 1 on the billboard charts, with her debut single 'Praying' gaining over 33 million views on YouTube in one month.

You're also probably wondering why on Earth I'm writing a blog about her. Well, if you've been following her court case recently like I have, then you'll have a pretty good idea at what I'm going to be writing about here. For those of you don't, here goes;

Back in 2014, Kesha Rose Sebert filed a lawsuit against her music producer, Dr Luke (real name Lukasz Gottwald) for 'mental manipulation, emotional abuse and sexual assault'.

One statement from the court papers reads;

“[On another occasion] after forcing Mr Sebert to drink with him, Dr Luke instructed Ms Sebert to take what he described as 'sober pills' in order for her to sober up. Ms Sebert took the pills and woke up the following afternoon, naked in Dr Luke's bed, sore and sick, with no memory of how she got there. Ms Sebert immediately called her mother and made a “fresh complaint,” telling her that she was naked in Dr Luke's hotel room, she did not know where her clothes were, that Dr Luke had raped her, and that she needed to go to the emergency room. Ms Sebert later learned that the 'sober pills' that Dr Luke had given to her were actually a form of gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB), more commonly known as the date rape drug, allowing him to bring Ms Sebert back to his hotel room alone and rape her while she was unconcious.”

This picture has since been deleted from Dr Luke's twitter. It has been speculated that this was the same night.

Dr Luke retaliated by filing a lawsuit against Kesha and her mother, citing that she was lying about the accusations in a way to 'weasel' out of her contract with him.

It also went down on record that if she ever mentioned to anyone of the incidents, he would:

“Destroy both Ms Sebert and her entire family. Specifically, after he drugged and raped Ms Sebert, Dr Luke took her down to the beach alone to 'have a talk' with her. He threatened that if she ever mentioned the rape to anyone, he would shut her career down, take away all her publishing and recording rights and otherwise destroy not only her life, but her entire family's lives as well. He also threatened her and her family's physical safety. Ms Sebert wholly believed that Dr Luke had the power and money to carry out his threats; she therefore never dared talk about it, let alone report what Dr Luke had done to her.”

Bare in mind that this is just one incident, from a string of incidents over many, many years. This man caused her to suffer from an eating disorder, depression and suicidal thoughts, as well as binge drinking, drug taking and all the other awful things that would come with being abused by someone over a long period of time. I imagine the pain she endured was insurmountable.

Unfortunately for her, she can't prove anything that she has alleged. And he can't prove that he didn't do it. So it's his word against hers, which is why she is still tied to his record deal, and why the courts have twice rejected her request to leave. She eventually dropped the case last year.

But do you believe her? Because I fucking do. Just because there isn't substantial evidence that someone has abused somebody else, it doesn't make it untrue. I was abused, many years ago as a child, and as an adult. But I have no definitive proof that it ever happened. So if I did ever want to take it to court, it would probably be thrown (metaphorically) out of the window. But that doesn't make it any less true does it. I hate the whole victim blaming culture that we live in. That's another rant for another time.

I'm writing about the Kesha case because it's probably the only one from the entertainment industry that has become so controversial, and which has upset and enraged me. Her fans and other celebrities like Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift have all got behind her and supported her. Fans have also gone as far as protesting peacefully outside the courts and online using the hashtag “Free Kesha”. It is so shocking that after all this, she is still tied to Dr Luke's label. Her abuser. The man who raped her. Who insulted her. Who drugged her, manipulated her and used her. Who bullied her in the recording studio and diminished her songs that she wrote and wanted to use on her albums. It's beyond disgusting.

Not only has this woman's bravery inspired me so much, her lyrics have also spoken to me on a personal level. In Praying, she sings;

Well, you almost had me fooled

Told me that I was nothing without you

Oh, but after everything you've done

I can thank you for how strong I have become

'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell

I had to learn how to fight for myself

And we both know all the truth I could tell

I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell"

I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'

I hope your soul is changin', changin'

I hope you find your peace

Falling on your knees, prayin

When I first heard this song, I was so moved I almost cried, and it exposed a lot of buried emotions for me. When something bad happens to you, something so traumatic and awful, it stays with you for years, rotting and festering inside of you. And sometimes you can go years and years without thinking about it, and other times it gets to you, until you can't think about anything else. And it manifests itself into a depression that starts to control your emotions, your anger comes to the fore, and your heart is heavy with sorrow, bitterness and hatred for that thing that happened to you, or the perpetrator who made it happen. And here's Kesha, who has come out of the other side, writing a song to her abuser, saying that she hopes he is praying, thanking him for making her stronger and wishing him well. She doesn't want to hold that pain in her heart any more, and her way of dealing with it is by letting it go, and therefore she has let him go too. He can no longer hurt her, contract or no contract. How inspiring and beautiful is that?

This woman's story, and her own unique way of dealing with this has touched my heart in so many ways. It has made me feel a little more empathy for people, bullies, and abusers like Dr Luke who hurt people constantly, and use them for their own personal gain. To some extent, every one has their own demons. But it's about how you deal with them, and about how you treat the people around you. I'm not saying that I forgive every person who ever hurt me (a list as long as my bloody arm), but I look at them a different way. If I don't think about them, and realise that the bad stuff they did to me was all 'their stuff' and not mine, then I can gain some kind of solace from that.

I'm going to finish this blog with one of my favourite ever quotes by a woman called Cheryl Strayed. (I will definitely be writing about her in the future so keep your eyes peeled). She writes;

“Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can't cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It's just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.”

If you are struggling with depression, being harassed or bullied by someone in your life, or know someone who is, this is the British Samaritans help line you can call:

116-123 (UK)

Take care of yourself dear reader. You are stronger than you think.

Violet x